Notes from the Edge

he's brave

2010-09-03T03:51:16Z

He emanates sweetness, genuinely

His desires are simple; to please others and take in all that life has to offer

He is growing, fast

Faster than what he is really ready for

Faster than what I am ready for

There have been stumbling blocks

Isn’t that where our greatest growth occurs?

Some say that is true, I think that primarily applies to adults because doesn’t the growth come by way of reflection?

Even if it is true, in the moment it hardly makes it easier- to stumble, to fall

I can’t think of anything harder than watching a child stumble and fall

I long to keep his world simple, the conversations and tasks understandable

But he’s growing, and growth brings with it expectations

Expectations I don’t have complete control over

What more can you do but to love and support

Maintain their dignity

Be an unconditional source of solace, a refuge

Parenting calls on the deepest parts of us

I can hardly think of anything that leaves me feeling more vulnerable

Than worrying about my children

But I think he is brave

So I will be brave

grounding myself

2010-09-01T04:48:46Z

I've been struggling with a pretty basic word these days, learning to just say "no." I tend to run at mach speed as it is but with school back in full swing I'm struggling to keep up with it all. Is it all do able? Yes, it is, but is it all necessary...probably not and there in lies the conflict. My goal at the end of the day is to have managed the day with my sanity intact and to feel as though there is a certain quality of life, ya know? I'd rattle off a list of all the things I have to do in any given day but let's face it, don't we all?! My list wouldn't be any more profound or jaw dropping than anyone else's list, life tends to run faster these days than I recall from my own youth. So, in the past 24 hours I have arrived at the conclusion that it is time to ground myself, slow down, breath, exhale, the world will not stop turning on its axis if I relax for a bit! So I have been thinking about the things I do in my life when I need to be grounded, here is what I came up with:

~ hang with my kids- seriously, there is something very freeing about sitting in a play room and creating with blocks and play-dough

~ cook some fantastic meal from a Paula Dean cook book- this is will no doubt require a trip to the grocery store for butter :)

~ read....for pleasure

~ listen to some great music while doing this or that around the house

~ turning off the news, cell phone, and computer....go 24 hours without checking email

~ go for a walk with no destination in mind.

~ watch a chick flick...like Hope Floats...I l.o.v.e. that movie

and what about you...what do you do when you need to slow down and ground yourself?

things I have seen and heard this week

2010-08-30T04:41:47Z

~ An untold number of loads of laundry

~My little boy now calling me "money" in an effort to call me "mommy" let's just pray that he doesn't continue to come to me saying "money" as he gets older :-)

~ An old book of poetry that had been buried on a book shelf, now holding space on my desk

~ The look of anguish on a mothers face as she expressed concern over her boy being prematurely mainstreamed in a new school

~ The look of joy and squeals of delight as young children were rewarded with small yellow rubber ducks

~ My boy cheering for my girl as she continues in her quest to master her bicycle

~ The look of complete synchronicity exchanged between the two of them, a word never spoken

~ The impact of drops of rain meeting the ground seen through my lens

~ His friendly face, he automatically places our order when he sees us walk through the door, it's a fun place where everybody knows your name :)

~ The bottom of two tubs of Ben & Jerry's icecream, the other men in my life

And you? What sights and sounds made up your week?

a conversation with my boy

2010-08-27T18:24:16Z

Driving home from karate yesterday I had this conversation with my 7 year old boy:

Him: Mom, can I tell you something?

Me: Of course, what's up?

Him: Did you know that Jesus lives in you?

Me: I do know that, what does that mean to you?

Him: That means he lives in you, he is there for you any time you need him. He is there to help you, like if you are feeling sad or mad. All you have to do is pray like this, 'Holy Spirit, please help me to feel better'"

Me: That's a pretty amazing thing huh?

Him: Yeah, I really like that

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

it matters

2010-08-25T21:20:56Z

What you are doing as a mother matters, even when you feel like you have blown it, completely lost your patience, and all energy stores have been depleted. You are not alone. I suspect that if you asked a stadium full of mothers if they can relate, you would see a lot of hands go up and nods of affirmation.

Motherhood calls on every piece of us at any given hour of the day. As fate would have it though, our energy levels do not work in the same ways. Some days my energy levels look like a river, steady flowing, in constant motion, other days I'm lucky to experience even a trickle. Let's face it, not every day can be a parenting pinnacle, nor should we place those expectations on ourselves. Some days are static and that's as good as it gets.

I'm often asked by mothers "what can I do to get my energy levels up?" It's an important question, if you think about it is there anything more critical to happy parenting than having the energy to do it? It is hard to rock your mom game when you are feeling like that tired old blanket your toddler continues to drag around.

So...my response is always "well, what are you doing to re-energize yourself?" Think about it, mothers often have unrealistic expectations. We think we should be an endless source of energy, you know, to be all things to all people, yet we do little, if anything to recharge...because we'd feel too guilty?! How easy it is for us to tell one another that "you deserve some time to yourself" but we are reluctant to afford ourselves the same acknowledgment? Honestly, can you think of anyone more deserving of some guilt free re-energizing time than a mom?

So my question to you is, what recharges you and fills the energy coffers? Are you the type that gets energy from being in your quiet home, ALONE, to read, journal, drink a cup of tea or coffee, take a yoga class or are you the type that can't wait to get out, be around some adults for some high energy conversation and connecting? Either way, I hope that you will take the time to do it, because what you are doing for you...matters.

Happy Love Thursday!