“Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have”

-Doris Mortman

I am worthy, now

I was worthy, yesterday

I will be worthy, tomorrow

Our worth, we struggle with it- I’d encourage you to stop that silly waste of your emotional energy, but I realize the futility of such a demand, because I know how we battle with it. The journey to discovering our self worth is sometimes painful, other times it is marked with such beautifully profound "a-ha" moments we could have never imagined, either way, it's a necessary journey. One that demonstrates that experiences along the way shapes the destination. One I hope we all fearlessly take.

I think we are genetically and socially wired for this battle about our worth. Let’s face it, we instinctively care about others and consequently, what they think and say matters to us.  When you couple this with a society that has created an impossible and ever changing mold of the ideal...it’s the perfect self esteem storm.

The silver lining? You can take yourself off of this roller coaster ride- sound easier said than done? Of course. Isn’t that how most things worth having are, easy to say but harder to achieve? But isn’t it also true that anything worth having is worth fighting for? Alas, your freedom from the shackles of worry, doubt and fear that you are not worthy is as important a fight as any you will have in your lifetime and it goes without saying that it is worth it.

So how do we define our worth? Before we get to that, let me offer an abbreviated list of what DOESN’T define our worth:

• How we look
• How much we weigh
• If we have children
• If we don’t have children
• Where we grew up
• Where we call home
• If we work
• If we don’t work
• If we wear makeup
• If we don’t wear make up
• If we wear current trends
• If we opt for our tried and true wardrobe
• If we drive a nice car
• If we opt to take public transportation
• If we live in a nice home
• If the shelter is home tonight
• If our kids make all A’s
• If our kids struggle to make it in school
• If our kids play piano, sing, dance or any other talent
• If our kids prefer not to engage in extracurricular activities
• If we blog
• If we don’t blog
• If our blog is popular
• If our blog has never been read
• If we are religious or spiritual
• If we are not religious or spiritual

Worth is not defined by anything external 

Worth isn’t something we hope to acquire over time

Worth isn’t something that we earn by being smart, beautiful, saying all the right things, being witty and behaving, as we “should.” 

Worth is simpler than that...

Worth is yours

Worth is mine

Because…. we are

We are who we are

We are where we are

We do what we do, how we do it and when we do it

And right here, right now, you are enough, just the way you are.

You and your beautiful soul, are worthy.

I have had a girl crush on Sandra Bullock since seeing her in Speed. I love that she is quirky, funny, beautiful and falls outside of those Hollywood stereotypes. She seems to march to the beat of her own drummer- love that. I absolutely loved her in The Blind Side, boy she nailed that southern accent. Just when I thought I couldn’t love the woman more, she delivered one of the best Oscar acceptance speeches I have ever heard!

While her speech in its entirety was amazing, it was this comment that melted me like a Popsicle on the Fourth of July.

"I would like to thank what this film is about for me, which are the moms that take care of the babies and the children, no matter where they come from. Those moms and parents never get thanked”

Oh Sandra, you are so right- so many mothers caring for babies, their own and others.

I think it comes natural for women- to nurture. We hear a baby cry and feel a pang in our hearts. We notice the child at school who is disheveled with a look of sadness to them and we make it a point to ask about that child, to go out of our way to smile at them, to hug them.  We hear of children suffering and we find ourselves sleepless at night, worrying about a child whom we have never met. We see a child reach new heights and we cheer for them, whether they are our own or not.

I watch my neighbor in awe as she mothers 5 foster children. Each of the children were born healthy but as a consequence of abuse and neglect are now special needs children. Yet despite the overwhelming investment of time and emotional energy required to care for one special needs child, she has opened her home and every nook and cranny of her heart to five! Some children have been there for a while, others only briefly. All of them could be placed back with family on any given day- but it doesn’t change how devoted she is to their daily care.

I don’t think there is a job more exhausting, that requires more multi tasking, problem solving, counseling, creativity, humor, laughter and love than mothering. I know their isn’t any other job that offers the rewards that comes with bringing up babies. And that is why we do it, whether we are thanked or not- and to Sandra Bullock, I say thank you for honoring mothers!

And in honor of all of you amazing mothers, here is a collection of entertaining and true mothering quotes, enjoy!!

- "The phrase 'working mother' is redundant." - Jane Sellman 

- "People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources--all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry." -- Paul Reiser, Babyhood

- "Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit." -- Bill Cosby

- "Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes." Joyce Armor

- "If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" - Milton Berle

- "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." -- Phyllis Diller

- "Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain." -Martin Mull.

- "Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for a while" - Unknown

- "I don't know why they say "you have a baby." The baby has you." -Gallagher

- "Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare." - Ed Asner

- "People who say they sleep like babies usually don't have them". - Leo J. Burke

- "It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins." - Chinese Proverb

- "A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end a no responsibility at the other." - Ronald Reagan

- "A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

- "In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television"- Erma Bombeck

My boy came downstairs yesterday with this "error report" in hand. Apparently he has been on the computer.

He is my only child with the enough patience to write this out by hand in order to come to me in search of a solution. All the others would have sat before the monitor calling my name as if their pants had been set on fire :-)

 

She’d be a wise sage, reminding me that Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King Jr. were guided by their dreams and lived fearlessly.

She’d nurture me the way a parent does a child; reminding me that what I can or cannot do is not a consequence of my ability but of my belief in myself.

As my mentor, she would explain that staring at a list of thoughts and ideas, struggling to bring order to my words is better than glancing across the room at a closed journal and a capped pen because I was too frustrated to begin, because I lacked faith in myself to even try. "You have everything you need to begin" she'd hearten.

When my courage to stretch myself waned, she’d bolster me and whisper gently “you can do this, your dreams matter, you are not alone.” And if she noticed me shutting down, she’d nudge me…urging me to leave my soul ajar, ready to welcome the next ecstatic experience.

As my friend, she’d take me by my hand and walk along side of me as I wrestled my self imposed limitations. She’d patiently wait as I sought clarity to understand what is written on my heart, that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

When I found myself in discouraged times, lamenting the lack of joy in my life, she’d dig in her heels and point out that joy is all around me if only I’d choose to see it.

If possibility were a person she’d never deny herself chocolate and a glass of red. She'd believe in living a life without limitations.

She’d dress in an eclectic style, a fusion of Boho and Audrey Hepburn, because she wouldn’t buy into conformity, she’d confidently honor her free spirit.

If possibility were a person, she’d want me to know that during my childhood I dreamed of doing many things and trusted that all things were possible. She would reminisce about the times when my imagination flourished and my thoughts traveled where they wanted. She’d ask when I began to limit myself with the notion of impossible. She would point out the glorious moments in my life where I have seen my dreams come to fruition, when I had proven that anything is possible.

If possibility were a person, she would cleverly point out that impossible means I’m possible.

If possibility were a person in your life, what would she be like?

My youngest doesn’t especially enjoy wearing his shoes, even when they are this cool. I find them anywhere and everywhere, but on his feet. I suppose I am at fault here since I really don’t push it.
Why is it that the more kids we have, the less we worry and stress over minor things, like, say- wearing shoes or shirts and really, who needs pants anyway?  Ha, because there are bigger fish to fry?
Because we live in the desert and the weather is mild?
I suppose I should be counting my blessing that we have no plans of expanding this brood- at this rate, our next child would insist on being naked and we’d be all like “that’s fine, but when we go to the grocery store you are putting a diaper on.” I suppose allowing clothing to be optional would really only be cool if we lived on some remote island and made a lifestyle choice to raise our children naked on the beach.

Cross posted at Project 365